Archive | October 2011

Self Sabotage?

Are you a person that seems to makes hard times for yourself without realizing it? I’m starting to think I am. While I love going abroad and discovering the world, I also want to do so in a job that I can one day call a career. My current dilemma in finding life’s “it” factor is which path to follow, if either. Let me explain.

Now, before I explain my self-sabotaging nature, let me lay a few things out. 1. Remember that my life’s joy seems to be learning about new cultures and speaking new languages while living abroad. And 2. I need a career that somehow includes all of those things in order to be happy.  Doesn’t seem too complicated, right? My experience had led me to answer “wrong”.

Ok, so here it goes. If you were given the option between a career job that had the potential for you to live abroad and speak other languages someday versus going abroad now for school and probably making some good connections for international jobs after that, which would you choose? I am not saying either has been offered to me at this point, but they could be future options and I am quite stuck. My heart says Go abroad! That’s what you love! Don’t waste more years wishing you were doing something you enjoyed! But my head says Stop throwing away your potential for various careers. Wait out this new career job and pray that you go abroad in the near future, even if it’s not guaranteed. Normally, I go with my heart, but my heart seems to lead me astray at times and make me work harder for the careers that I want than I would have to otherwise, and I keep ending up in the same place (that being not satisfied professionally). When I go with my head, I know it is the right decision professionally at the time (most often), but refuse to accept it because it never aligns with my personal goals. This, for me, is a case of heart versus head, but also personal versus professional goals. Which should I consider and when? Which is more important and why? These are the questions I struggle to answer.

Now, whoever is reading this probably thinks that I am all sorts of messed up if I think I have to go back to school when I have a career job offered to me that could someday fulfill my personal goals as well. However, what’s wrong with getting more of an education? Someone once told me that no one will ever question why you studied more, only why you didn’t. I liked that thought, but now it seems to be holding me back from a job that I may or may not like, that also may or may not get me abroad which is my ultimate personal goal.

I feel as though not going with the career job now would categorize me as a self-sabotager. I have been wanting more of a career oriented job with the potential to grow and live abroad, but I am tired of having to put my personal goals aside while having to work jobs that I hope will someday fulfill personal goals too. So, I ask you: Personal versus Professional? Heart versus Head? When both options have the potential to get me something I want personally and professionally in the future (although neither is guaranteed), which does one go with?